Abridged Print Edition for 04/01/11- No foolin'

First off, let me ask a favor of you. If you’re the praying type, please put my good friend Sylvester Carr in your prayers. He lost his wife, Diane, in a car wreck last weekend and was critically injured himself. If you aren’t the praying type, how about some good thoughts? Either way, he could use the support…


From the Fox SportsSouth Facebook feed came this gem Monday: “Tonight’s Braves vs. Nationals game has been cancelled due to weather.”
Really? Isn’t “sunny” a type of weather, too? I guess it would be too much to ask for them to add three fucking letters to the goddamned post where it reads “bad weather” and God forbid they seem the least bit erudite and describe it as “inclement weather.”
Of course, this is Fox we’re talking about- the same network that continues to employ the fucktarded duo of McCarver and Buck- so I really shouldn’t be surprised…


Know what else I shouldn’t be surprised by? Getting to work Monday morning and having to make my way around a ginormous pile of crap left right in the middle of the fucking walkway.
Or a riding lawnmower right in front of the door to my work area.
Or the pallet of aluminum left right out in the middle of my other work area’s floor- after I’d specifically told pretty much everyone that the material didn’t go to me, and please don’t put it in the goddamned router room. Because, obviously, driving 25’ into the router room was much easier than moving it five feet to the goddamned left- where it wouldn’t have been right in the middle of a fucking walkway…


Know what else I shouldn’t be surprised by? The big-assed puddle of water in the middle of the floor in the router room- courtesy of a leaky roof. A leaky roof that I’ve been suggesting be repaired for at least two years now. 
This time around.
See, when I started this job around five years ago, the roof leaked then, too. I know because one of my first questions was “what’s that bucket in the middle of the floor for?”
After months and months of my pointing out that a leaky roof over a $50,000 piece of electronic machinery might be a bad idea, the powers that be got off their ass and forked over the dough to get the roof fixed. 
It lasted all of about a year before it started leaking again. That time, it didn’t take as long to get it repaired.
This time, however- well, as I said, I’ve been suggesting it be repaired for two years now. So last week, our two crane truck guys were on the roof banging around, trying to fix the leak. I was told “that should do it” (not by either of the crane truck guys, though- they were still on the roof).
Knowing my coworkers like I do, though, I said I’d reserve my judgment until it rained. Which it did this weekend. A lot.
And, of course, led to about a two gallon puddle of water on the floor. What had once been just a slow drip was now more like a leaky faucet that won’t quite turn off.
Not that I blame the crane truck guys. We do signs. Not roof repair. It’s the dumbasses who are “in charge” who are to blame for not having a professional do the goddamned job in the first place…


So, Kenshin Krapakami’s line from Sunday was four innings, three runs and five hits, which Chip Caray deemed “not bad”- and reminded us of two things.
A) Krapakami should not be on the Braves’ roster and 2) Chip Caray is a fucking idiot.
If you work that line out to nine innings, it pegs Krapakami’s ERA at 6.33.
Rumor is Krapakami will start the year at AA Rome. In my opinion, even that league’s gonna pound him like he was an all-you-can-eat buffet surrounded by fat guys…


Another joy Monday morning came when I tried to boot up my other work computer. After a number of “file not found” types of errors, I determined it just wasn’t going to play nice.
And, of course, the place where we bought it doesn’t open until 9:00 AM.
Now, I’d be all for a custom built machine if it weren’t for the fact that this particular piece of shit has already been back to the place it came from on two other occasions due to hard disk problems.
See, the same geniuses who wouldn’t spend five or six hundred bucks to protect a $50,000 machine by having a roof repaired are the same ones who insisted on spending something like $1200 on a fucking computer when I insisted that we could buy an off the shelf model for about $600 less and beef up the RAM and still not spend as much. And it probably wouldn’t be broken…


I’ve been refilling my Netflix queue ahead of the two weeks of down time I’m about to be facing. And, I love their streaming feature.
I’d actually resisted buying a DVD Blu-Ray because I didn’t want to have to replace movies yet again, but- once Vizio (maker of my ginormous TV) came out with one that was only $120 and had Wi-Fi and would stream Netflix, I bought.
And I liked the Netflix streaming feature so much, I went and got another for the bedroom- where I’m sure to spending a lot of time post-surgery.
So, like I said- I’m refilling my queue. Any suggestions?


By the time print readers get this, I’ll be just a few days away from Operation: Cutthroat (as I’ve decided my tonsillectomy shall be called). Maybe I’ll be nervous, maybe I won’t. What I won’t be, after it happens is at work for at least two weeks.
This seems to be catching many of the dunderheads I work with by surprise. You know, ’cause I’ve only been telling them about it for something like a fucking month now.
And last year, when they revoked our vacation, they revoked sick time, too (it was all lumped together as “personal time”), so I won’t have any income for those two weeks, either.
Despite the fact that I’m losing out financially- and won‘t be compensated- one of the dipshits still had the balls to ask me if I’d be “checking in” to answer “technical questions” and “stuff like that.”
Go fuck yourself is never really an professional way to approach a query of this nature, but it sure seemed like the appropriate response today…