(Pulls out soapbox... You've been warned...)
As I was scrolling through my news feed a few days ago, I came across a post from National Geographic that had a glaring usage error on it. Seeing as it was the internet, though, I wasn't the first to notice the problem. I merely commented that I glad to see I wasn't the only person it bothered.
And then, everyone got butthurt.
Why couldn't I just enjoy the article?
Damned grammar nazi (sic).
Why couldn't I just enjoy the story? Well, I did- though in a very “ew” kind of way.
It was a video about how sewer rats really could come up into a toilet (because of the way their spines are structured, they can bend into crazy positions. That's beside the point, though).
National Geographic is very prestigious publication. They have editors. I'm assuming they have proofreaders. And for them to make such a glaring error was- I don't know- appalling? Not to mention leaving it uncorrected (as of six hours after the post was made and the error was pointed out).
A Grammar Nazi? Hardly. I make plenty of errors. My musings are “put to paper” very much as they come out of my brain- without regard to tense, structure, run-ons. Or even coherence at times. Unlike National Geographic, though, I don't have editors or proofreaders (unless Shelby points something out to me). And it's just my train of thought going- not my livelihood or brand that's going to be seen by millions. But at least I know that Nazi is a proper noun.
And the other one- the most laughable- millenial? A) What the flaming fuck does my age have to do with anything? Not to mention they were five decades off. 2) Does someone being young preclude them from being able to construct a coherent fucking sentence?
Flash forward to this morning, and I see a post from I Fucking Love Science about the human tognue (sic). Yep, another one.
Sure, they don't come anywhere near the readership numbers of National Geographic (at least, not that I'm aware of) but, they still boast quite a few followers.
Then, just a few hours later, a friend reposted one from Discovery News about a glorious, new “Artic preserve” with a video still of penguins in the link.
I don't know why I'd even bother to think that a network that is part of a conglomerate of cable craptaculence that seems to have about 90% of their programming in the form of reality” shows to have any kind of common fucking sense, but... yeah. Penguins. The Arctic.
And the fucking video even clearly shows the area that is being protected (hint: It ain't in the Northern Fucking Hemisphere).
I'm in desperate need of a sedative, I guess. It seems that everywhere I look, there's further evidence that Mike Judge's Idiocracy was some kind of prophectic masterwork that continues to play out before our eyes at such an alarming rate that my office might as well change the fucking water fountain to Brawndo (It's got electrolytes!) now.
I can't have been the only person on the fucking planet who saw the premise for The Real World and thought- “are you fucking kidding me? What kind of fucktard is going to watch some bullshit like that?” Can I? (And you'll have to excuse me- I wasn't even three when An American Family ran, so The Real World was the first I ever heard of supposed “reality” programming.)
The Real World was a hit, though. Was it because pandering to the least common denominator sells? Because there were scantily clad, attractive people on it and sex sells? Because MTV ran the shit out of it, and people stayed tuned in, hoping for music videos? Because the whole goddamned country just kept getting dumber every fucking day and those of us who didn't fall for the fuckery just get belittled as hippie, libtard, elitist assholes? Fuck if I know.
Check out the program lineups on A&E, TLC, Discovery. Take a gander at what's on The History Channel. Look at what's become of those once actually informative outlets. Hell, probably a third of Fox's lineup is some sort of “reality” competition, and even the news networks foist that same type of shit on us.
It's no exaggeration, though, when I say that the closest I've come to watching a “reality” show is Man Vs. Wild or Crocodile Hunter. And I watch some truly bad TV (Family Guy) and movies (Black Sheep- and I'm not talking about the one with Chris Farley), but even it pales in comparison to the fetid fuckery of "reality" programs. There's just something that's just so off-putting about the self-centered, attention-whoreish-ness of “reality” shows that I wouldn't watch them if you stapled me to the couch, sewed my eyelids open, and pumped me so full of fucking stimulants I never fucking slept again.
Maybe I am elitist. Or pretentious. Whatever. But look where compromising and ignoring the giant pile of feces building around us has gotten us. In the words of Rafterman from Full Metal Jacket, "it's a huge shit sandwich, and we're all going to have to take a bite."